They ate every letter of every alphabet and still had an appetite.

I'm starving for a new form of self-expression. Composing occurs as the last priority on my filled up schedule.My emotional side lacks creativity and ways to allow the natural flow of passion transform into  something deeper.With this garbage drowning me,I've finally  thought of a  simple solution. For months, procrastination and financial instability blocked my way to restore a forgotten hobby of playing  piano.I'm consistently pushing myself to discover various  spheres of outlook on the world, and exploring  my spiritual side.Its time for me to give back to others.

With five weeks into college, my overall impression on education  has changed. One of the reasons for this, occurs to be the finances. If one is paying to further his knowledge, then unlike High School, a lot more dedication and interest is required. Psychology increased my drive for college, and now I'm considering  to double-major. Although Journalism and publications still remains in my main sphere of interest. Dr. Charles Mosley, my English  professor has brought a massive amount of frustration during the session of English 101, which appears to be an important learning factor for expanding my writing skills. Despite his ignorance, and inability to teach I'm  still trying to seek my individual ways to succeed in becoming a better writer. 

In refference to my previous entry of feeling betrayed, my gut feeling was not a false alarm. There's no more purity. I've broken both my legs, and I can't get up.

I'm being swallowed over from the comfort zone. Why do I feel that lying will calm me down inside?I am  detached.
 Maybe I'm just extremely sentimental.
 

I need to go home,
end of story.

Moskva

Despite the fact that ONCE again my name was misspelled; (this time   not only in the program,  but on my diploma,) the graduation wasn't so bad. Although most given speeches seemed fake and boring. Tesla turned out to be the only one with a positive attitude to finally  be leaving the glorious AVHS!  For  being the so called "hard working" vice president, I got to sit on stage in company of the principle, the senior officers and the the rest of the school staff,that I dont ever have to see again. The fun part about being on stage was that about half the time I felt like I was being watched by over 1,000 people.

Graduation 007

  The bright lights were the result of my migrane later in the evening. 
Couple of weeks later, Kyle and I got to visit california all by ourselves. To be honest, the thought of driving for 5 hours caused me to have nightmares the day before the trip. In the end, thanks to Kyle's great company I was very calm during the whole time of the drive. We decided to go down Santa monica beach , where we spent most of our time swimming and taking photos.

Kyle decided to attack and push me into the ocean, so therefore for the rest of the day I ended up looking like curly sue.I love traveling with him. We both didn't want to return back to our regular schedules.  And now almost half  way into the summer, I'm still in search of a decent job.Yay for the unemployed!

.  

School is officially over.We've all moved on to another chapter in life.
More than half of the people I acquinted with, I will never see again.To be honest I'm not all too depressed about it. Since my college is here in Las Vegas, I'm not  worried about  losing contact with my close friends.
As the celebration to  end of the school year, Thao, Tesla, Yuki and I decided to paint Thao's untuned piano. After what it felt like hours, of choosing colors at Home Depot, we've made our final stop on Wild  Berry, which is close to purple.  After coloring the piano, each of us has to  paint a mural, in rememberance of our friendship. That night  Thao and I drove down to the House of Blue's in Mandalay Bay, where we saw The Faint with couple of other similar bands. There was a lot of dancing, clapping and many party boys trying to get groovy with us. Despite that, their performance of "Paranoia" is what made my night.

 After the second time of leaving the Arts Festival empty handed, I feel  that I threw away my  8 months in Mrs. Ziegler's Photography class . What a waste of time and effort. Maybe part of the reason to this, is because our school has teachers and administration for judges.Even if I was to win it would be that overrated double exposure, everyone has been obsessing about ever since the beginning of the year.Despite the fact, that I couldnt even get a 3rd place in any of the categories,I still remain happy.
 Some of my friends, finally got recognized for their works of art. I rarely notice the amount of potential people surrounding me have.
Also today was the the Las Vegas Review Journal banquet, where all the high school newspaper staff got awarded for their writing, photography and overall effort in journalism. I received a glass frame and few coupons for being a writer for R-Jeneration,a weekly section in the LVRJ.Kyle deserved an award, he really is a talented writer, not to mention extremely handsome. Haha.

Even though my photography didn't live up to  certain standards, today's  decision doesn't determine the quality of my work as a whole. Its expressing yourself that counts , and I feel that I've reached my goal.
Good night.

!

The question remains,"What is happiness?"  It feels as if its has been extensively erased out of my memories. In the past couple of months I've shattered into pieces of  melancholy and self-pity.I've lost my identity.the end.

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